Staying Grounded in Love - Handel Behavioral Health
Mental Health Blog

Staying Grounded in Love

October 17, 2023

Digital painting of woman standing at the edge of forest and field doing a yoga tree pose under leaves that frame her from above. The ground is wet and the sky is gray. An autumn beige cornfield sits in the background field. The tree trunk next to her is a dark purple that matches her shirt.

Amy Mauro

“I’m learning how important it is for me to connect with myself to create a stronger bond with my partner. I hold onto my grounding practices to keep my sails from luffing too much into the wind, and to weather the storms with more ease.”

When Gabriella was young, she learned how to tap into a grounded and mindful version of herself.

“I had a special book of poems when I was a little girl. I’d make up melodies to the poems, and sing them aloud to calm my mind or soothe myself to sleep,” says Gabriella. 

Now, in her adult life, Garbiella finds the same feelings of calm and clarity as she sings Kundalini yoga mantras. 

“When everything is kind of clattering around in my head, I love that I can turn to music to comfort myself and connect to something bigger than my thoughts,” says Gabriella.

Moving her body, creating art, decorating her home, and practicing group meditation and Kundalini yoga have brought Gabriella into the present moment, beyond feelings of fear, doubt, depression, and confusion. These interventions keep Gabriella grounded. 

Gabriella’s now learning how to ground herself as she adjusts to an exciting and adventurous new chapter of her romantic life. 

“Relationships teach you so much about yourself. I’m learning how to take time and space for my rituals, as well as let go and enjoy the spontaneity of this new relationship,” says Gabriella. 

In the following lived experiences story, Gabriella shows us what it means to stay grounded within herself, while enjoying an exciting new chapter of her romantic life.

What practices have kept you grounded throughout your life?

I’ve learned that I can get thrown off balance very quickly if I don’t take time to reconnect with my body, mind, and spirit. 

I’m prone to anxiety, though as hard as it can feel at times, anxiety can be a helpful warning signal to me when I’m out of alignment with myself. 

When I’m feeling overwhelmed or scattered in my brain, I have the urge to move my body. 

Whether it’s through walking, dancing, or practicing yoga, mindful movement has been a constant source of clarity and calm throughout my life. I feel like I can get lost in this very peaceful place inside myself.  

Music has been a source of joy and peace throughout my life. Listening to music, singing songs, or making up melodies helps me focus, center, and redirect my thoughts when they get scattered.

I’ve discovered the practice of Kundalini Yoga, a form of yoga which focuses on breath, asana (physical postures), chanting, meditation, and singing. The combination of these techniques help quiet my nervous system, to activate clear energy throughout my body and transport me to a higher state of consciousness. 

When I’m chanting, singing, or listening to the Kundalini mantras, I’m brought back to this peaceful place inside myself, where I’m simultaneously connected to something bigger than myself. 

Singing, walking, and creating art have lived in my toolbox throughout my life. I’ve experienced some of the very best feelings by doing the simple things that bring me peace.

How are you integrating these grounding practices in your new relationship?

I’m with a person who can be extremely spontaneous and free-spirited. 

We might be on our way somewhere- no destination or timeframe in mind- and he might decide to stop alongside the road to pick apples from a tree. Normally, I would have been planning a time to pick apples from an orchard, and figuring out how and when to get there. 

My partner pushes me to stretch beyond my comfort and confines, and step into my learning zone. 

Yet with all the newness and excitement that comes with this relationship, I’m finding it very important to carve out alone time for my grounding practices. I’ll go for a walk, take a bath, work on an art project, or practice yoga: whatever it is that I need to bring my awareness back to my body and mind.

What are you learning about yourself in your new relationship?

This relationship continues to remind me of the beauty and freedom that exists in the present moment. I’m learning how to detach a bit from my planning, worrying, and fixating mind, which I didn’t realize was so present until I started to share my life with him. 

I communicate my boundaries and ask for space when I need it, but I love the idea of doing things that I wouldn’t normally do, with a person who makes me feel safe and supported along the way. 

Above all, I’m learning to trust our acceptance of each other. I’m learning to trust his acceptance of who I am, with all of my feathers. 

Above all, through each other, we’ve learned how love grows.

Working with a therapist to develop grounding practices:

Grounding techniques are an important part of developing a stable and fulfilling relationship with yourself, and your partner(s). 

Exercises like deep breathing, cognitive interventions, body scanning, mindfulness/meditation, and visualization can be used everyday to prevent and cope with feelings of anxiety and distress. 

Our trained therapists at HBH therapy are here to help you learn how to bring yourself back in touch with your body, mind, and senses, to tap into the present moment. 

To work with one of our clinicians in our offices in Amherst, West Springfield, Wilbraham, and Franklin, or online throughout the state of Massachusetts, contact us today at (413) 343-4357.

About The Author

Nettie Hoagland Headshot

Nettie Hoagland is a writer with experience in local news reporting, nonprofit communications, and community development. She earned her bachelor of arts degree in Media Studies, Journalism, and Digital Arts from Saint Michael’s College in Vermont. Nettie believes in the healing power of the arts to create connection and community. She is passionate about using writing as an instrument for personal and social growth in the field of mental health. She is currently based in Brooklyn, NY.