If You Want a Village, Be a Villager
The Mental Health Benefits of Being Active in Your Community
June 8, 2026
Everyone wants a village; We want someone to check on us when we’re sick. We want someone who knows a guy who can fix the plumbing. We want neighbors who can watch our kids in an emergency. We want someone to bring over soup after a surgery and bring in our mail.
It takes a village, which means it’s our personal responsibility to be a villager.
Being a villager is more than just being friendly; it’s about creating support systems that improve mental health, increase safety, and help people feel connected to the world around them.
Being active in your community not only helps you find a dog sitter, but it also has a profound impact on your emotional well-being and your quality of life.
Despite All Our Rage, We’re Still Just Rats In a Cage
Many of us spend our lives moving between our car, our workplace, our kitchen stool, our couch, and back to our bed. All the while complaining about the idiots on the road, at our jobs, in our neighborhood, and on our TV.
Then we wonder why we’re lonely and have no one to call when our car, or our mental health, breaks down.
Humans are social creatures. We are not wired to navigate life entirely on our own.
There’s a study called “Rat Park” where rats were placed in two different cage setups. One was a solitary cage with only a water bottle, and a morphine water bottle, and the other, named “Rat Park”, was a giant community habitat with lots of snacks, toys, and places to mate, as well as a water bottle and a morphine water bottle.
The rats in the solitary cages used the morphine bottle to the point of addiction, and the Rat Park inhabitants used it sparingly, seemingly almost recreationally. Even the addicted, solitary rats who then moved into Rat Park still chose the regular water bottle.
This somewhat silly study is a great representation of how, when we lack recreation and social interaction, there’s a significant increase in loneliness, anxiety, depression, and stress, which is absolutely a factor in substance abuse.
Lend Me Some Sugar, I Am Your Neighbor
Would you feel comfortable asking your neighbor for a cup of sugar?
Why not? It’s not exactly a labor-intensive or financial burden to lend such a commodity.
Or is it not about the sugar at all? Does it feel too awkward, or invasive? What’s the worst that can happen? They say no? They yell at you?
The best-case scenario, and most likely to happen, is that you make a connection.
Recently, I was halfway through my almond bread batter when I realized I was out of vegetable oil. Since it was early, I went to the convenience store, only to see that they were out.
I asked the cashier if they had any in the back, and she told me unfortunately not, but that Trader Joe’s would open at 8. So I waited about a half hour and walked to Trader Joe’s… who had changed their hours to 9.
The batter couldn’t wait that long, so I stopped by the locally owned hardware store in a last-ditch effort. Alas, they didn’t either, but the cashier told me about the coffee shop that’s closed today, but workers are often there doing prep.
Lo and behold, they were. So through the glass door, I tried to mime that I had a question and did not want a coffee.
And a few minutes later, I walked back home with an iced coffee cup of vegetable oil.
My point: No one is going to spit on you for asking. In fact, most people love to help you on your adventure for vegetable oil, or whatever it may be.
And the next time you see them, they’ll ask how the almond bread was, because you made a connection.
Reporting Live From the Meadow
I’ve written on “Meadow Reporting” before, because of how sick I am of how it’s been twisted in “small talk” or “gossip”.
Meadow reporting is how we gain information.
When we were neanderthals, you would come back to your cave and tell everyone about the snakes in the meadow and that the berries are poisonous because idiot Carl started eating them and threw up the whole way home.
Now everyone knows to avoid walking through the meadow, that the berries aren’t edible, and that Carl is not to be trusted.
In the modern day, it’s learning that there’s a huge accident on 95 and not to take the highway for a while. It’s hearing that the restaurant you like has just permanently closed.
Or, as I’ve said in 7 Reasons You Should Go Touch Grass, it’s “finding out the difference between Sprinkles the cat, who does not need any more treats, and the too-friendly raccoon, who also does not need any more treats.”
Reporting on the meadow keeps everyone safe, and sharing information you have is just as important as hearing it from others; Collective care requires that everyone participate.
When people know what’s happening around them, they feel more connected, more informed, and more in control of their environment. Feeling safe in your environment reduces stress and helps create the psychological stability that supports good mental health.
Like a Good Neighbor, Your Village is Here
Many people underestimate how fulfilling it can be to contribute to their community.
Offering help, sharing skills, providing companionship, or simply checking in on others creates a sense of purpose. Humans thrive when they feel needed and valued.
Being a good neighbor can be as simple as:
- Bringing in someone’s trash bins
- Sharing extra garden vegetables
- Helping shovel snow
- Offering recommendations for local resources
- Checking on an older neighbor during a heat wave
- Supporting local events and organizations
These small acts of kindness strengthen community bonds and remind us that we are part of something larger than ourselves.
Plus, when you’re active in your community, people are more likely to step up when you need support.
Look, you don’t have to be the mayor of the neighborhood. You don’t have to volunteer to plan the neighborhood block party like me, but you should show up.
And In the Event of a Zombie Apocalypse…
Look, if the zombie apocalypse happens tomorrow, the neighbor most likely to let you into their bunker is probably the one whose plants you’ve watered for the last five years.
People tend to help people they know; If you’ve been the Boo Radley of your neighborhood, I’d wager no one is going to be too keen to let you be a part of their apocalypse squad.
Talk to your neighbors. Share information. Offer help. Ask for help. Be active in your community. Become a member of the community rather than just someone who happens to live there.
Because it takes a village, but you’ve gotta help build it.
Looking for Therapy for Social Isolation or Agoraphobia?
Social isolation has become a common and complex issue for many people since the 2020 quarantine. A 2023 Gallup survey revealed that nearly a quarter of the global population felt “very lonely” or “fairly lonely”.
If you’re struggling with feelings of loneliness or that you can’t find your place in the world, Handel Behavioral Health is here to help.
HBH understands the impact that loneliness has on mental health. Our compassionate, licensed therapists can help you tackle negative thoughts, practice communication, and regain your confidence to get back out there.
Our dedicated client care team will assist you with scheduling an appointment with one of our therapists as quickly as possible, usually within a day or two.
Our therapists are available for appointments online in Massachusetts or in-person from our offices in Amherst, Franklin, West Springfield, Wilbraham, or Natick offices.
Contact us today at (413) 343-4357 or request an appointment online.
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