During the COVID-19 lockdown, while many of our essential workers, such as grocery store stockers and nurses were on the “frontlines,” a significant portion of us were sent to work from home. Workers proved that the same level of productivity could be accomplished from the comfort of their own homes, where they could use their own private bathroom, eat a freshly-made lunch, and start a load of laundry.

Since this revelation, many workers are now prioritizing work-life balance over salary. Workers want flexibility to start families, maintain their health and hobbies, and most importantly, find fulfillment in their lives outside their job.

Greg, the “founding father” of Handel Behavioral Health, has always maintained a focus on balance. As was only fitting, we did this interview on his back porch on a lovely Saturday afternoon, because what’s the point of building your own business if not the freedom of flexibility?

He shares his tried-and-true tips on how to balance work and personal life by having you ask yourself the following:

Who Am I?

Finding a job you love is often the first piece of advice given to make your work-life more fulfilling. However, sometimes combining your passion with your job can blur the lines between work and pleasure. While it is possible to achieve such a balance, it is crucial that your sense of purpose in life reaches beyond your job title.

Greg knew exactly what he wanted to do with his life, and it had nothing to do with his career. While his profession was meaningful and important work, it was intended more as a means to an end. He didn’t want his career to define him; before he was a psychologist or a pastor, he was a husband, father, and community member.

Throughout his academic and professional career, all his decisions were through this lens. He made sure he focused on the things that mattered, because at the end of the day, he was going home to his family and friends at the dinner table, not his boss. While a paycheck was necessary to be their provider, there was nothing more important to him than being there physically and emotionally for his family.

Greg’s Advice: Figure out who you are or who you want to be outside of your profession. Make that identity your priority, because when work gets tough (and it will), you’ll need to remember who you are outside of your job.

What Do I Want?

Progressing in your career is neither linear nor cookie-cutter. Making general assumptions about what goals you must reach to get The Job, and then letting any setbacks or presumed failures send you spiraling, will only waste your time and energy.

It’s easy to lose sight of your actual goal when you’re just doing what you think is expected of you, such as getting straight A’s to get into grad school. “The suicide rate for straight A students is the highest,” he said, “because they burn themselves out while forgetting why they were trying so hard.”

They needed to ask themselves why they needed straight A’s to get into grad school, and why they wanted to go to grad school, and why that particular field of study, and why why why until they uncovered their real motivations.

Greg’s goal? He just wants to have fun. He doesn’t want to wait until retirement to see the fruits of his labor and enjoy time with his wife, children, and grandkids.

Greg’s Advice: Ask yourself: Why am I really doing this? If the answer is prestige, money, or external validation, dig deeper. Once you identify your goal, always keep that in your sights, and don’t sweat the small stuff along the way.

 

Where Is The Line?

Long hours and weekends have become the norm in the current workforce, especially with bosses having near-constant access through messages, calls, and emails because it’s all attached to us at the hip through our smartphones.

However, with lackluster raises that barely offset inflation, and little ability to move upward as fewer and fewer people are able to retire as planned, people are noticing that burning themselves out is having less and less of a return.

Greg knew this from the start; while ambitious, he knew what was important to him and where he needed to draw the line at work to protect his personal life.

Greg was once asked at the last minute to come into work during a planned vacation. He knew that there was nothing at work that couldn’t wait over the weekend and that it was more important for him to uphold his promises to his family.

He told them, “Look, my wife is getting my kids in the car as we speak. If I’m not in that car in 15 minutes, they’re going to be really upset.” By Monday, the work was still there, and the company didn’t burst into flames because he went to the Jersey Shore.

Greg’s Advice: Create boundaries at work that are appropriate, purposeful, and that maintain your values and quality of life.

How Do I Find Community?

“Networking” is not just for finding a job, but to create a diversified support system to help you through every aspect of your life. Building and maintaining relationships requires your kindness and loyalty, and always giving more than you take.

Through every step in Greg’s professional journey from grad school to private practice, Greg always maintained his connections, from friends, church groups, colleagues, and anyone his kindness impacted along the way.

When Greg had to make massive last minute changes to his dissertation for his doctorate, the day he and his wife, MaryAnne, intended to move to Amherst for his post-doc, all the work he put into his relationships paid off.

The professor whom Greg had made an impression on that year had found him in the library at 10pm and started helping. Friends from the church were back at home with MaryAnne, helping her pack everything in the U-Haul to make the trek from Washington to Massachusetts.

Greg’s Advice: Building a a community outside of work that is important to you and gives you purpose. Find personal fulfillment and make an impact in your community by using your skills to help others, and others will always help you back.

Why is a Work/Life Balance Important?

Balancing what’s important in your personal life with what your profession requires of you can be a difficult and delicate task, but a worthy one.

Ensuring that your job doesn’t consume your life is a part of self-care. Taking a bubble bath at the end of a long workday helps in the short term, but chronic stress can lead to full-blown burnout and cause both mental health and physical health issues. Symptoms of burnout include:

• Increased anxiety and depression
• Increased use of alcohol and drugs
• Emotional exhaustion and irritability
• Changes in sleep pattern
• Heart disease
• Impaired immune system
• Digestive problems
• Muscle and joint pain

Not only does your quality of life suffer, but your work-life too. Increased health problems also lead to decreased work performance due to frequent sick days, or for the truly unbalanced, going into work sick!

And of course, your relationships with family and friends suffer when you can’t see your grandkid’s play because you opted to work late or you’re sending work emails at dinner with your friends.

Greg’s Final Thoughts: Tomorrow is never promised; make the most of your life now and enjoy today.

Looking for Burnout Therapy in Massachusetts?

At HBH, we believe the mental health journey should be intentional and rooted in your values. If you’re feeling overwhelmed at work and Greg’s advice resonates with you, we’re here to guide you to help reduce stress and manage burnout.

Find an academic/occupational therapist online in Massachusetts or in-person in Amherst, Franklin, West Springfield, Wilbraham, or Natick, by calling (413) 343-4357 or request an appointment online!

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