Divorce can be one of the most challenging and confusing transitions a family may experience, and its impact is often deeply felt by both children and adults. 

At Handel Behavioral Health, we understand that navigating this journey requires support, understanding, and specialized mental health care. Our therapists in Massachusetts offer a supportive environment where all family members can express their feelings, work through differences, and develop effective communication skills and coping strategies. 

In this blog, Mike Sweeney, Licensed Mental Health Counselor shares his expertise on the emotional toll of divorce, particularly on children. Mike offers practical strategies to help both children and adults heal and recreate a parenting framework that prioritizes the wellbeing of the children. 

Whether you’re navigating divorce yourself, or helping your children process its effects, our therapists are here to support your healing journey. To start working with one of our therapists for divorce in Massachusetts online or in-person from our offices in Amherst, Franklin, West Springfield, Wilbraham, or Natick offices, contact us today at (413) 343-4357 or request an appointment online.

Impact of Divorce on Children:

“The emotional tension between divorcing parents can deeply impact children” says Mike. 

Mike says that he often sees a process known as triangulation in divorcing parents, which is when parents involve their children in conflict between themselves. Children may also be treated as property being passed back and forth between parents. Parental triangulation has lasting effects on children’s emotional development and wellbeing. 

Some of the effects of triangulation on children include: 

1. Anxiety and Stress: Children exposed to parental conflict may experience more stress and anxiety as a result of ongoing emotional tension.
2. Low Self-Esteem in Children: Children may feel powerless and think less of themselves due to being stuck between their parents’ conflicts.
3. Behavior Issues: Children may act out or withdraw from social activities due to the high stress and conflict in triangulation.
4. Academic Performance: Children may have difficulty with their academic performance when their emotional well-being is threatened by parental conflicts.
5. Internalized Guilt: Children may also blame themselves for their parents’ divorce, mistakenly believing it’s their fault due to their limited understanding of the situation.

Therapeutic Approaches for Divorcing Families:

Mike emphasizes that when working with divorcing parents, he assesses their ability to prioritize their children by listening intently to how they speak about them. 

“If parents are smiling when talking about their kids or speaking positively about them they are more likely to co-parent constructively,” says Mike. “When couples immediately focus on grievances toward each other, they may not be ready to put their children first and develop healthy co-parenting strategies.”

Mike emphasizes that parents’ personal conflict should never outweigh their children’ s well-being.

Child-Focused Therapy:

A positive co-parenting relationship between divorced parents is essential to support the well-being of children. Mike assists in building mutual respect and collaboration between parents by encouraging accountability and bringing the focus back to the children. 

Mike explains that even if complete consistency between two households of divorced parents isn’t possible, agreeing on basic rules and expectations can provide children with a greater sense of security and ease.

Managing Conflict in Co-Parenting Sessions:

When working with divorced parents in therapy, conflict can be high. Mike helps co-parents find common ground by identifying a neutral topic, like a shared love of a sports team, as a starting point to rebuild communication and connection. 

When conflict between divorced parents’ escalates, Mike steps in and redirects conversations toward productive goals. He may ask parents to write out their household expectations, allowing them to identify their miscommunications. 

Above all, Mike helps parents reframe their relationship as collaborative rather than oppositional, as to put their children first.

Building Child-Focused Co-Parenting Strategies:

Mike may offer divorced parents child-focused, co-parenting strategies to create a healthier dynamic for families. 

One effective strategy is called the “nesting” model, where children stay in the family home while parents rotate in and out. This approach may help create consistency and stability, and prevent children from being rotated around different household rules.

Mike emphasizes that family therapy can produce lasting benefits for families but should only be pursued when parents are able to prioritize their children’s needs over their personal disputes.  

Support groups for children and teens of divorced parents can also offer a safe and nonjudgmental environment for young people to process their emotions and connect with peers facing similar experiences.

Start Divorce Counseling in Massachusetts Today:

You and your family deserve to move forward through divorce with less conflict and more harmony. 

Our therapists who specialize in divorce counseling provide a safe environment where you and your family members can develop the tools necessary to navigate the obstacles and move forward with acceptance. 

When you are ready to embark on a new journey and embrace change, our therapists are here to help. To start working with one of our therapists for divorce online in Massachusetts online or in-person from our offices in Amherst, Franklin, West Springfield, Wilbraham, or Natick offices, contact us today at (413) 343-4357 or request an appointment online.

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