“Re-starting or starting therapy during the holiday season can be the greatest gift we gives to ourselves and those we love.”
“The most wonderful time of the year,” is here and many of us feel far away from the holiday cheer.
Perhaps we’re facing financial stress, lack of sleep or downtime, or setting unrealistic expectations amid a jam-packed social calendar. We might be grieving the loss of a loved one, remembering loss from previous years, or maybe we feel anxious and depressed but unsure of the cause.
“Many of us, caught up in giving to others and wanting to feel more joyful, may feel stretched too thin to even reach out and ask for help,” says Sarah Presson, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Clinical Supervisor.
This holiday season, we invite you to prioritize self-care and explore what brings you comfort, peace, and joy.
In the following article, Sarah Presson, LICSW discusses some of the most common struggles and practical tips for improving your physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing through the holiday season.
Later in the article, Sarah explores the significance of starting or re-starting therapy this holiday season, an ongoing gift to give yourself and expand your sense of connectedness.
“Re-starting or starting therapy during the holiday season can be the greatest gift we give to ourselves and those we love,” says Sarah.
We hope that you may find small ways to connect with yourself and in turn, connect with those you love.
To start working with one of our trained therapists online in Massachusetts or in-person from our Amherst, Franklin, Natick, West Springfield, or Wilbraham offices, contact us today at (413) 343-4357 or request an appointment online.
Family gatherings and expectations
When you’re lacking holiday cheer, it can feel difficult to be around friends and family who are eager to celebrate.
What can you do instead?
Toss out the rulebook and remind yourself that you do not have to force yourself to be happy.
Instead of trying to join every celebration, bake the perfect batch of sugar cookies, and find the perfectly wrapped gift, you can find new ways of celebrating.
It might be as simple as inviting a friend over to watch your favorite movies, cooking your favorite meal or ordering takeout, starting a new creative project, volunteering at a food pantry, or anything else that makes you feel uplifted.
If you’re nervous about interacting with difficult family members, practice setting realistic expectations, setting boundaries, and approaching tense situations with patience and compassion.
A few self-reflection questions to ask yourself before an event or gathering:
- How much time will I want to spend at this event?
- Will commuting separately give me/us more independence?
- What topics are off-limits and how can I prepare a script to communicate those boundaries with clarity and compassion?
- Do my family members have different needs or expectations that can be discussed before going into the celebration?
- Have I experienced difficult interactions with family members who will be in attendance, and how can I set boundaries calmly and assertively, if necessary?
- What is important to my family members or friends about this celebration? How can I respect their needs while still protecting my emotions if it’s a difficult situation?
- Who do I have in my support network to call or text before, during, or after the celebration?
Holiday grief/loss
Many of us may be dealing with loss this year or grieving loss from previous years.
While it might feel like the rest of the world has moved on from an event that was painful for you, remember that you are not alone and you are allowed to feel sad, frustrated, distressed, and disappointed during the holiday season.
Rather than avoiding your feelings of grief, we invite you to be gentle with yourself, allow time for feelings, and give yourself permission to celebrate in nourishing and new ways.
What can you do to cope with grief during the holidays?
- Have a plan A/plan B in place, knowing that there is another way to celebrate if an event or gathering doesn’t feel right for you. This is where you can lean into self-care practices, like taking a warm bath, making your favorite meal, or watching your favorite show.
- Allow yourself to cancel the gathering, social event, or holiday altogether if you are feeling overwhelmed or disconnected. The holiday season will come around again and you will find yourself celebrating differently every year. Honor your process and acknowledge that there is no right or wrong way to grieve during the holidays.
- Embrace the love and connection you shared with your loved one by telling stories among family and friends or looking at photographs of happy memories. Be mindful of whether this brings you warmth or more sadness and let your feelings guide you.
- Check in with a grief support group, therapist, faith group, or friends who understand what you’re experiencing. Connecting with those who can relate to you may provide new perspectives, affirm what you are experiencing, and offer much-needed love and support.
- As much as possible, let your friends know how they can help and support you, whether it’s helping you do your shopping, or by going for a walk with you. Your friends and loved ones want to help, but often do not know what will feel supportive for you.
Re-starting or starting therapy during the holiday season
Re-starting or starting therapy during the holiday season can be the greatest gift we give to ourselves and those we love.
By connecting with a therapist and giving ourselves the time and space to be heard without judgment, we practice self-care and learn to become present with those we care most about.
Other than the increasing demands that holiday preparation places on us, why else would we decide to re-start or start therapy this season?
- A reemergence of mental health and life challenges that brought you to therapy in the first place
- You are feeling stuck and like you are repeating patterns in your life
- Something just feels off
- You want an objective, unbiased person to talk with
Start working with one of our therapists in Massachusetts today
It’s natural for us to focus on giving to others this time of year, let’s not forget the lasting gifts we can give ourselves.
To start working with one of our trained therapists online in Massachusetts or in-person from our offices in Amherst, Franklin, West Springfield, Wilbraham, or Natick, contact us today at (413) 343-4357 or request an appointment online.
About The Author
Nettie Hoagland
