Many people think that when they’re in a relationship, they should be able to work through difficulties without the need for outside support. Other couples may feel a sense of guilt or shame about needing couples therapy. 

While it’s normal to feel anxious, nervous, or hesitant about embarking on a new journey in your relationship, it’s important to remember that relationships take a lot of work and asking for guidance from a trained couples counselor is your first step to healing and improving your relationship. 

A trained couples counselor will help you and your partner deal with common relationship difficulties, such as issues with trust, communication, and handling conflict. You will both have the opportunity to process your feelings, express them healthily to each other, and develop effective coping skills and communication strategies to improve your relationship dynamic.

Our couples counselors in Massachusetts provide the supportive guidance that you and your partner may need to improve your relationship. To start working with one of our couples counselors online in Massachusetts or in-person from our Amherst, West Springfield, Franklin, Natick, and Wilbraham offices, contact us today at (413) 343-4357 or request an appointment online.

What is Couples Counseling?

Couples counseling is a type of therapy that can help you and your partner improve your relationship. Whether you’re having difficulties and want to rebuild your relationship, or if you want to take early measures to protect your current relationship or address future life transitions, you can seek couples counseling.

“Our goal as couples counselors is to enhance a couple’s understanding of each other, reinforce connection, and create healthy pathways of communication that ultimately lead to increased happiness and mutual respect. While this may not always be possible to achieve for each couple, arriving at a decision about whether to move forward together or apart amicably is part of the journey as well,” says Alexandra Malin, LMHC and Clinical Supervisor with HBH.

What are some signs that a couple may benefit from couples counseling?

• If a couple is experiencing issues with communication
• If a couple is arguing frequently 
• If a couple’s needs or ideals are misaligned 
• If one or both partners are lacking desired intimacy
• If one or both partners are feeling misunderstood or unheard
• If a couple has experienced something traumatic together or apart that’s impacting their relationship
• If one or both partners is experiencing financial instability that’s impacting their relationship
• If one or both partners are experiencing trust issues
• If one or both partners are holding onto unresolved issues or resentments 

“If a couple, or even one partner, is questioning whether or not couples therapy may be beneficial, they should get an early start and pursue a session,” says Bob Chabot, LICSW. “In truth, most couples can benefit from couples counseling, and many wait until it’s too late.”

How does couples counseling work?

Intake: 

“It all starts with the intake interview,” says Bob Chabot, LICSW. “I start with a question about why the couple has chosen to pursue counseling at this time. I ask for each partner’s perspective on the problem. I ask for the couple’s history; recurring conflicts; and if there are other concerns they have.”

Forming a deeper understanding of the relationship:

Bob says that he likes to ask couples how they met, what drew them together, and how they like to spend time together. To gather a deeper understanding of their relationship, he’ll ask each partner what they learned about marriage from their parents.

Exploring the issue:

“Once a problem area is identified, we explore it to the fullest. The history of the problem, the way such issues were handled in each partner’s family of origin, beliefs underlying each partner’s perspective, and what they have tried in the past to solve the problem,” says Bob. 

Finding potential solutions:

“Then we proceed to potential solutions. I like to give couples homework that they can practice between sessions,” says Bob.

What are some of the benefits of couples counseling?

“A couples counselor provides a nonjudgmental listening ear with marital and family relationships. They will facilitate the couples process of moving forward by helping them clarify the issues and work necessary to develop a more satisfying relationship,” says Bob.

Here are some of the benefits that couples therapy may offer:

1. Deepen your understanding of each other: Couples therapy can help you and your partner better understand each other and the dynamics of the relationship. You may start to notice patterns in your relationship- both the positive and negative- and decide which ones you want to bring with you moving forward. 

2. Having a safe and supportive space to talk: Couples counseling offers a nonjudgmental safe space where boundaries are set, and a neutral third party oversees the process and can intervene when necessary. It’s extremely helpful to feel safe, heard, and seen when navigating difficult conversations and vulnerable moments with your partner.

3. Seeing each other’s perspective: Your therapist will help you objectively see your partner’s side in a disagreement, in order to avoid miscommunication and better resolve conflict. 

4. Learning effective coping skills: You and your partner will learn effective coping techniques that will help you manage stress, anger, sadness, jealousy, and any other emotion that’s interfering with your relationship. 

5. Deepening your trust in each other: Couples therapy is a safe space for both partners to express how trust was broken, work on forgiveness, and create new boundaries for the relationship to heal. 

6. Improving your communication skills: Your therapist will help you and your partner develop effective communication skills to handle conflict, express needs or expectations, and address problems more healthily. 

7. Working on your own self-awareness and self-growth: Couples counseling allows you and your partner to deepen your understanding of your own needs and to identify the areas of life that are both challenging and fulfilling, as this filters into your relationship.

Start Working With a Couples Counselor in Massachusetts Today

If you want to feel better about yourself, your partner, and your relationship and you desire change within the relationship but need support in doing so, our couples therapists are here to help.

To start working with one of our couples counselors online in Massachusetts or in-person from our Amherst, West Springfield, Franklin, Natick, and Wilbraham offices, contact us today at (413) 343-4357 or request an appointment online.

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