BOOK RECOMMENDATION from Greg Handel, PhD. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman discusses five different ways that individuals can express their love for one another.
1) Words of affirmation (compliments)
2) Spending quality time together
3) Receiving gifts
4) Acts of service
5) Physical touch
Depending on our innate makeup and past history, we usually tend toward one of these 5 modes of affection as the primary way we express or receive love.
Not identifying our love language or that of our partner may cause tension within a relationship. For example, if the husband’s primary love language is acts of service, and he has a free Saturday, he may spend it trying to work on his wife’s car to get it to run smoothly. However, if his wife’s primary language is quality time, she may become upset that her husband is spending a free Saturday tinkering on the car rather than spending time with her.
Chapman believes that identifying that our partner may have different ways of expressing and receiving love than we do, can help to improve communication in a relationship and make our life with our partner more fulfilling.